peaking

when the pinnacle of your life was escaping something, you tend to live life as if you've just escaped and easily find yourself caught up in trying to feed the rush of actually escaping. the past nips at your heels, you can't think beyond just taking another step...one more step thats all you know, box out everything else, just focus on the step in front of you...one foot at a time. when you reach a finish line or a wall, you get bored. your body is still triggered, it jumps by anything familiar to a chase. escape. run. it runs, it flees. at the drop of a hat. and when you find something good, when the finish line is better than the start and whatever the fuck you were running from, you jump. you just jump in place. because your body still wants to move, your heart still races but you know you've ran as far as you needed to go and so just jump up and down, jump for joy!! this is it!! you've made it!! this is the escape. life is no longer a reaction to something negative. but the act of something positive. and that forward motion, the light of positive will be the cycle which continues.