lighter brighter

ive been tossing around various tomorrows... tomatoes juggling in the air... trying to decipher the codes of fate and my own difficult desires.

this tomorrow, that tomorrow... one is too cold, another too hot. finally, oh but finally, i have settled on a certain future. decidedly so, i am delightedly insomuch tickled over the idea i've come across. its been staring me in the face, rolling its eyes at me, waiting for me to turn from my scattered thoughts and return to the truth which is always ironic and always magical. God is as lovely and whimsical, deep and dark and mysterious as I love Him to be. and His gifts always reflect all of these infinite qualities.

My tomorrow, lighter and brighter than i could have imagined. detailed and simple, full circle and yet never-done. so much fulfilled in just arriving my eyes in the center of the gifts which have always been there, ready to be opened, noticed.

i spend so much time trying to will my way through life, only to look up and find it's so much easier if you just close your eyes and let God do all the turning.