[slightly acidic]

strange astringent,
a blink of an eye; the water bleeds and the light,
dry as a bone,
ragged and wrung
appears clean, serene, and alive.~

[gravity]

ironing out the inevitable,

the heaviness of metals, like led,

(i can still hear)

sleek chilled water
washes over black coal in the night;

it ebbs, and lets
in the light.

improving the aperture,

the dilution of ink as it bled.

(can't be far now; so i try my joints:)

i can still feel.~

[peaking]

hands against the surfaces of stone:

the dryness seems fit for the polish of the grip,

as i carry my weight up over the cliff and peer down at the height of my climb.

at some point this must align

with an idea God had in His mind.

this must be what its like to come into ones own;

having full faith that the drift, the down, angled calves, the slide of mud, the catch of my step as i bare down down down ...

will not be nearly as trecherous as the lift, the push on angled calves, the slide of mud, the catch of step as i push my weight up over the cliff and peer out at the site of my dreams.

reaching into the depth of fear in my knees, the water up to my hips, i drift with the clutch of a stick;

the dryness in my feet seems fit for the polish of the grip of stone, i chance across a fast-moving water, against the current of time and i think to myself:

at some point this must align with an idea God had in His mind.~

[animals]

honor for the elder;
honor lost to law and lines on contracts
and facts.

an attic scent like damp wood and dusty boxes of pictures; things to help her remember who she is.
despite her demeanor (she claws at the strangers),
she is adorable. and scared.

left here unprepared,

she waits by the door;

waiting to be honored or be spared.~

[rose red]

Approaching the line which isn't a line afterall,

Water meets dawn,

Still grasping to the deep and turbid why.

If I can understand,

I could get by.

If and only then, I'd get by.

Surfacing among the floating ice,

The difference melts; light reflects

The significance of her cry;

But once its hoped; it saves in notes

Bottles and waves to shore.

Approaching the line; this infinite sky;

Approaching the light; the dawn of a beautiful life.~

down through time

I can’t configure in my mind the time of day.  In some memories its dark, in other memories its day.  All in the same memory, the same moment in time.
Then there was the night before.  The phone that didn’t stop ringing.  We all sat there as it rang, slow to respond.  As I finally realized no one else would answer it, I got up and sure enough, it stopped ringing.
Then the morning after.  Again, the phone rang and it didn’t stop ringing.  Slow to answer, my mom sleeping next to me, said,
Is that the phone?
Hours later (so it seemed; light to dark), my mom slipped on clothes and hurried down the hall to answer the endless ring of the phone.
There are no words to explain what happened next.  Just,
“What did you do to Mike!  What did you do to him!”
And the next thing I knew, my brother was dead.
Not one of us questioned how he died until we were told how he died.

[My Mike Poem]
your life hangs over like a lamp
from the path i’ve drifted from
when other lights of color
led my heart undone;
and as i rode through ether
caught in strobes of scattered void
your watt improved in measure
and i could not avoid.
though i thought the world was dark
without your strength to light it,
you are the light that is the strength
with the power to ignite it.
if i made a promise
you would have to keep it too;
we’ll take your strength to lengths
unknown to me and you,
and light the way your life insists
and follow it to your transfer.
we’ll mark the exes, connect the wires
and there will be an answer.~

[between]

improving the aperture-
the forced light;
the swelling of cells,
the yelling through hell -
years of hell and i widen the lense a bit;
tune into the sound,
my own movements
beating rhythms in the ground.
amid the noise,
i tend to my voice -
a quiet light to resurrect her choice.
still as the will
of the angels strum
along to the
grounds quiet drum.~

[scissors]

stammered by the isolated trees
an empty breeze
a trickle of hope
just to trick to fake the cope
the alone, the unknown
found only by the likeness
of a feather on a breeze
drifting alone on an empty sea.~

bread and water

opening the cupboard doors for the tenth time never made more appear. yet the bareness of reality never kept me from reenacting, perhaps in desperation.

hope. maybe i had hope.

the wheels always turned in me and creativity spurred the most brilliant concoctions as a child:

  

• brown sugar and butter makes caramel, sort of
• bread ends with outdated yogurt and raisins
• pilot crackers and canned tuna, of course
• cabbage, lentils and chicken: something i like to call Beluga

growing up and even until now i never understood the virtue in poverty. maybe because i was too poor in other things like spirit at the time.

now though, as an adult, i see how intimate one becomes with God when they are poor. no longer merely self-reliant; when we have nothing else to trust we have only to trust God. if the world turns against us we turn to God. and so in a sense, those we damn and shame and judge (and maybe even yell out the car window, "Get a job!"); those we right off and cast out often have a far more exclusive provision with the Creator, than those who seek to fulfill their needs independently.

[penn-kos]

not the touch so much
but the "unreasonableness of it all,"
purge the innocent transfer
of smokey bays;
darkness in corners of whispers in formers-
the frame of shame of a girl.~

[soul dancing, part 1]

you were there for me...
when i thought i had it down,
and didn't.
in it, wounds, rounds of tight knit
simplicities, explicitly spun a
speechless, needless skein.
needles caught in tangled thoughts
of what this me should me.

i needed you.

so let us now be strong and proud,
not raveled by the fads so well;
let's knit the knits
and purl the purls
and share them with the world;

so take this walk with me. ~

[innocent girl]

so take this walk with me -

[an innocent child cries sadly for she is no one]

through the thousands of strands of withered grass,

hand in hand, little soul, see the light reflecting off your heart:

look up and there's the angels sharing light with you

don't be scared. take this walk with me. ~


going through what is left of some of my poetry as a little girl, i was terrified to read one of my lines as a 12 year old girl. "an innocent child cries sadly for she is no one." ... so this post is me talking to me about me. everything's gonna be alright. poor thing.

[is it enough?]

stronger than before
and i dont owe you;

just another chance,
a chance to show you.

i know.
i know.

enough, we've both done so much
to show you, done so much to hold you;

to keep this,
even then, even now,

i hold my breath for now.~

i'll always remember paul squires: his prosepoemthingys, Continuing Diaspora (the first of his i read), that my name goes down in the history of his blog (click here); and all the continuing support i got from this faithful blog friend. this is for you,

[free]

spun out of all their is to drive.
to try,
i write, and pass along what living is to die:

free.
all it is is free.

i.m. me and we'll chat on living and being, and trying;
and dying free.

God speed friend Squires, God speed. ~

[boxes]

fit within the lines of the most restrained

harsh black definitions, and contrary white.



cant stretch my limbs out of these walls,

i'm tied to the cross of their tucked away faults.



and in this resurrection, i'm just me-

gray and dying and alive.



ill-defined and well from the limb of this tree,

i drink from a God who mercifully, mercifully feeds me; keeps me; leads me:



free.~

[the music]

facing down and to the left,
i avert my eyes to what is left;
signature in the peripheral:
an infinite shore, home, bound, toward
what is left:
a deliberate softness in the keys,
in harmony with my beach; steps, prints.
wind hits;
hints of what is left.~

[healing]

Hands lay over a head;
Water runs over.

The spirits led;

Now, this-

Faced, blessed;
Down, kissed;
Wished for things it couldn’t have.

Songbird sings;
Thumbs over strings;

Angels commence and the soul resurrects.

respite in the Perfect;
deserted in the desert of affection;
letting in the love, kept for sudden notices;
moment's notice, not too quick-
just take away the swears and keep it quiet.
in the tundra lost and loved;
kept quiet for my God above.~

[black]

Shot in the dark
I didn’t even hear you come in

Whisper for help
Say I'll be well

I love them, tell them I do.

[gone]

Gone so far… hands out farther than I can reach
Who could reach?

These things, these screams
God prevails in my dreams, keeps me close

I wake up and I feel His presence